IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT and the beast wouldn’t go to sleep.
Ambition burned through Adam Laxalt’s visions as sugar plums danced in his head like plump law firm partnerships.
The boy was shell-shocked that midnight dreary in late 2018. He had failed to turn the trick his grandpa had flipped which led to wealth, fame and power: Winning the Nevada governorship in a 1966 upset.
Young Adam had to find another enchanted apple, a core of magic mojo to re-envigorate the family name in his ancestral stomping grounds. Only problem was the pesky fact that his ancestral roots lay in Virginia, not Nevada. (No matter. Carpetbaggers have always done real good in these parts.)
What to do? Copy grandpa’s act once again. He began to frequent libraries, something at which he had never shown much aptitude in school.
He went thru miles of microfilm about how former Governor Laxalt came out of retirement to defeat the heavily favored Lt. Gov. Harry Reid for U.S. Senate in 1974, a rare Republican bright spot in the disastrous year of Watergate.
Slowly, an idea began to form. Forget the governorship. Jump right to the senate.
Copy Grandpa Paul’s act again. Never forget your makeup. Look like a distinguished leader on TV. Hope people overlook your distinguishing failures. Grandpa flopped in the hotel business and Carson City’s Ormsby House remains a ghostly shell, a mausoleum museum of management incompetence by Paul’s political personality cult. (Some of his insiders actually termed it so.)
As both supporters and detractors often noted. Paul Laxalt was not the smartest of the Laxalt brothers but he damn sure was the prettiest.
Handsome Paul had no choice but again running for office in the hope lightning would strike and save him from bankruptcy.
Many years later, curious facts emerged. Paul Laxalt’s total personal investment in the hotel-casino was a whopping $60 thousand. The rest was financed by questionable Chicago banking interests.
Harry Reid made the mistake of attacking while he led in the polls, albeit correctly questioning the highly suspect Ormsby House funding and demanding full disclosure of all interests.
Grandpa’s non-response was masterful, parrying Reid’s thrust as an attack on the fabled Laxalt family. “What does he want,” Paul Laxalt asked, “a financial statement from my sister, a Carmelite nun?”
Ouch.
Gowabunga! Adam Laxalt would simply ignore his 2018 loss to Gov. Steve Sisolak and run for senate just like grandpa. Any attacks on his creaky resumé would be spun as personal insults to family.
He would campaign as a pro-family conservative with a cute wife and kids. How dare that woman from Las Vegas remind people of his f-minus achievements in college.
If she keeps it up, he always has grandpa’s silver bullet ready to fire:
He’s ONE OF US and the Gomorrah South amazon is not. Worked in 1974 and will work now, or so he hopes.
The Barbwire thus predicts that “one of us” will surface in campaign ads before November.
SILLY SEASON. This year’s major campaigns have already descended into nasty nonsense which will continue perhaps until Thanksgiving and, heaven forfend, beyond.
Laxalt supporters are proving so inept that one front group’s TV spot trashing first-term incumbent Sen. Catherine Cortez-Masto orders Mme. Senator to “Stop reckless Washington spending to stop inflation.” Huh?
If reckless Washington spending will stop inflation, why should she stop?
HONOR THY FATHER. Laxalt the Lesser has loyally copied grandpa’s playbook almost completely, right down to deploring attacks on his family. He runs ads with his wife and kids and his hardworking single mom.
But he disses dear old dad. As I noted last week, Adam Laxalt’s father is the late U.S. Sen. Peter Domenici, R-New Mexico, who had an extra-marital relationship with his colleague Paul Laxalt’s young daughter.
Personal peccadilloes aside, Sen. Domenici was a distinguished moderate much admired by his colleagues from all points on the political spectrum. It is a disservice to his memory to pretend he doesn’t exist.
Adam Laxalt’s privileged childhood was apparently positively impacted by his father’s influence. The good senator deserves at least acknowledgment by his son.
Doing so may not quite follow Grandpa Paul’s script, but it would be the right thing to do.
Adam Domenici-Laxalt should not rob Peter in his quest to play Paul.
BEWARE SECRET PLANS. Remember Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger’s secret plan to end the Vietnam War? Nixon said he would only disclose it after the election. Actually, he and Henry the K worked to subvert peace talks and keep the war going so that Nixon would not be deprived of the major issue of 1968.
As Tom Lehrer once noted, satire died the day Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
Clark County Sheriff Joe Lombardo wants to be governor and advertises a detailed plan to cut Nevada taxes. It’s apparently a Nixonian secret.
I suffered thru his vapid website which fortunately didn’t take much time. No tax cut plan of any kind. Websearches likewise. Like everyone else, he supports education but ignores Nevada’s Scrooge-like school budgets. But he’ll damn sure protect our rights to fabricate our own unregistered guns, by golly.
Nonetheless, he promises he “will always govern as a pro-life governor.”
CELEBRATE LABOR DAY at Reno’s Idlewild Park, 11:00a.m.-4:00p.m. this Monday. Years ago, I recommended that union leaders bail out of Virginia City which had allowed its Labor Day parade to become a celebration of the Confederacy. I’m glad to see the new Laborfest. Live music, food trucks, beer garden, kids zone and a huge Mother Jones inflatable to scare the children. Info at RenoLaborFest.com/
ADIOS HARRY SPENCER. My longtime Tribune colleague in columny died August 20 at age 95. Harry was a walking Nevada history book. I hope his family compiles and publishes an anthology of his remembrances.
HELP MIKE GUERRA. Here’s the URL I found when donating to the ailing RTCRide bus operator’s assistance fund: gofund.me/c1fed539/ Please be generous.
Stay safe and pray for Ukraine and 53 other currently war-torn lands.
Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno.
Andrew Quarantino Barbano is a 53-year Nevadan and editor of NevadaLabor.com. Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988. E-mail barbano@frontpage.reno.nv.us
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