The vaunted Barbwire investigative team has spared every expense in getting to the bottom of a burning issue: Donald Trump’s running mate.
His Wonderfulness needs a Latina VP who will both broaden the base (remember those words) and bring eye candy to the ticket.
So who’s a base-broadening babe? Spanish-speaking star and stone fox? Class with nice ass?
The logical choice would be superstar Sofia Vergara. But not only is she making too much money as the highest-paid actress on TV, she was born in Colombia and thus hits the wall.
Sarah Palin’s got a nice body, but she can’t speak proper English, let alone Spanish. So who’s a Latina star with a terrific tushy?
Jennifer Lopez is the only choice worthy of The Donald’s gaze.
Hey, it only has to make sense to him and nobody knows how that works anyway.
You gotta love the bumper sticker potential: T-Rump and J-LO.
RENT CONTROL. Some Sparks senior citizens are getting hit with hundreds of dollars in monthly rent increases plus airline-style additions for previous inclusions like washer/dryers.
Hey, not everybody needs clean clothes, right? Don’t want to sign a new apartment lease? Your rent goes up another hundred while you’re looking.
Things got so bad during the late 1970s boom that senior citizen activist Barbara Bennett went before the Reno City Council unsuccessfully asking for a “rent justification” ordinance.
So Bennett ran for mayor. They laughed. She won. They stopped.
ADIOS. Helen Chávez, widow of labor legend César Chávez, passed away last week at 88. We will remember her at next year’s César Chávez Day celebration.
GEORGE “BATTLING” NELSON has a long history with César Chávez and the United Farm Workers union. More than 50 years ago, the Sparks resident stood with the greatest labor leader of the 20th Century, United Auto Workers leader Walter Reuther, at the dedication of UFW headquarters in Delano, Calif.
For his distinguished record of labor activism, which included delegations to Russia and Japan, Nelson was inducted into the César Chávez Nevada Labor Hall of Fame. I was present last week when the UAW presented the ailing Nelson with the Walter Reuther lifetime achievement award.
RIGHTING WRONGS. Lifelong boxing aficionado Nelson labored long on the centennial celebration of the legendary 1910 Fight of the Century.
The bout’s Reno location at E. 4th and Toano has state historical signage. Homeowner Tim Elam built a monument commemorating Jack Johnson’s training facility at Mayberry and Sherwood.
Nelson has worked for years to complete the triangle of fight sites. Last week, the Reno Parks Commission moved forward on a marker at the Moana soccer field, site of boxer Jim Jeffries’ training camp.
Muhammad Ali said that he modeled his ring style after Johnson, the first African-American heavyweight champion.
Like Ali, Johnson was persecuted and prosecuted. President Obama has long had a posthumous pardon on his desk for approval. Nelson gathered thousands of petition signatures in support.
Ali’s memorial service last Friday came on the 70th anniversary of Johnson’s death.
BACK HOME. Another César Chávez Hall-of-Famer, former Assemblymember Bob Price, D-N. Las Vegas, is finally back home in Sparks after being bedridden for more than six months with illness contracted while hospitalized for surgery. Nancy Price encourage visits.
Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno.
Andrew Barbano is a 47-year Nevadan, editor of NevadaLabor.com. E-mail <email@example.com> Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988.