Donald Trump won the presidential debate on Monday evening, and I so swear as I write this on Sunday.
Whence the chutzpah to venture back to the future? Because the situation is/was a replay of 1980. Even CBS’ fabled 60 Minutes show got in on the con.
The venerable TV news magazine started its 48th season Sunday with a scary story about Czar Vladimir and his howling commies seriously considering (oxymoron alert!) “small scale” nuclear war.
No contrarian positions were presented, just a bunch of brasshats and one atomic scientist. Don’t we know by now that once generals are given new toys that they will always seek opportunities to use them?
At least 60 Minutes didn’t include The Donald’s mental meltdowns about how he would not rule out using doomsday devices.
“You can never take cards off the table,” he has said, adding “You want to be unpredictable.”
If we can’t use them, “then why are we making them?” he has asked. This guy probably thinks Nuclear Deterrence is a new fragrance at Bloomingdales.
Trump is a documented sociopathic narcissist. He loves it when people kiss his sensitive ass, as Vladimir Putin publicly did. The reincarnated KGB apparently hires excellent psychological profilers. The Donald predictably replied in kind.
When anyone crosses him, the playground bully’s kneejerk reaction is to get even with extreme prejudice.
Anti-arms control Cold War Reaganauts are back – on steroids. Which is why I assert with little fear of contradiction that Trump won last night. Again, I write this before the preening and prancing in Philly.
All Ronald Reagan had to do to win the presidency in 1980 was convince the great unwashed that he would not blow up the world, a very low threshold against unpopular incumbent Jimmy Carter.
I would not be surprised if Trump stole Reagan’s “there you go again” to laugh off criticism.
Democrats once rejoiced that Hillary Clinton’s opponent is the weakest thrown up by the Republicans since Barry Goldwater in 1964, another victim of nuclear scare.
Little did the Donkeykongers realize that their standard bearer would be the weakest Democrat since perhaps James M. Cox. Who? Exactly.
CRYSTAL BALLS. A psychic moment gave me the idea for this column. I spent much of Saturday with a hospitalized friend and his family. I missed TV news and thus had no idea how UNR fared against the Purdue Boilermakers.
So before I opened the Sunday paper, I ventured a guess: Purdue 31, UNR 21. Ten points. Which indeed turned out to be Purdue’s exact margin of victory (24-14).
Attempting to make it two in a row, such preternatural ignorance (oxymoron alert) informed my going with The Don.
Wonder how I did.
YOU’RE FIRED. Ma Bell has pink-slipped my ancient flip phone as of December 31. I didn’t lose my virginity until a colleague pushed me to get a cel-phone for the 2006 campaigns. Until then, I spent about two bucks a month on pay phones.
AT&T has offered to give me a free replacement. A Samsung. Aaaarrrrgh!
It damn well better come with smoke alarm, fire extinguisher and hospitalization insurance.
Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno.
Andrew Barbano is a 48-year Nevadan and editor of NevadaLabor.com/ E-mail <email@example.com> Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988.