“Some people claim there’s a woman to blame, but I know it’s my own damn fault.”
Jimmy Buffett sang those words four decades ago and nothing better describes today’s Donkeykong Party collectively crying in its beer.
Desperate liberals are now begging for street demonstrations. A Hollywood outfit called RefuseFascism.org paid for a Jan. 4 full page in The New York Times demanding mass mobilization to stop the coronation of King Donaldo. Too little, too late.
Americans just don’t have the attention span to do what Ukrainians did in 2004, massing by the millions night after night to overturn an election stolen by the incumbent president who even tried to murder the man who defeated him.
Besides, we must prepare for our biggest religious celebration, the Super Bowl.
The most the Dems could muster in 2001 was hurling tomatoes at unelected Bush the Lesser’s limo.
Us little people have one practical hope: greed. Infighting among gluttonous factions can be exploited for minority victories.
Repeal Obamacare? Not so fast. The insurance and pharmaceutical industries are enjoying record profits. Ditto the big banks, military contractors and prison privateers. Cosmetic regulation is working fine, thanks.
The foxes are in the chicken coop boinking the hens before cutting them up, selling their eggs and body parts.
Foxes caught committing fowl deeds will defend themselves by asserting that those cute chicks are actually their wives, so please respect traditional family values and the sanctity of marriage between male and female as God intended.
Colonel Sanders, call your office.
I need a margarita, heavy on the dark rum.
MLK WEEKEND EVENTS. This Sunday, Jan. 15, the Northern Nevada Martin Luther King, Jr., Holiday Committee hosts its 31st Annual Interfaith Community Memorial Service. It starts at 3:00 p.m. at Bethel African Methodist Episcopal Church, 2655 Rock Blvd., Sparks.
On Jan. 16, the 19th Annual MLK Community Memorial Caravan will depart at 10:00 a.m. from Bethel AME and travel the five-mile MLK Highway on US395/I-580.
END OF TIMES SURVIVAL KIT. Defend yourself with humorous or humorless but always-peerless predictions for 2017 by subscribing to the Barbwire Confidential News Service. Last year’s dark foreshadowings unfortunately became reality, so I suggest inoculation by signing onto the HushHush! list at BallotBoxing.US/
DISASTERS R US. Recent flooding was oft-compared with 2005 and 1997 but not 1986 when Sparks Blvd. became a river and a man drowned. After repeated flooding in the early 1950s, local voters were asked to support tax increases for flood control in specific neighborhoods. Only northwest Reno residents voted in favor. The Army Corps of Engineers proceeded to make that the one flood-proof area of the Truckee Meadows. Sometimes, taxes work.
MORE BAD OMENS. Speaking of northwest Reno, a crackerbox 988 square-foot home in those parts just sold for $222,000. In sync with the weather, a replay of the 2008 underwater bubble is forming.
Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno.
Andrew Barbano is a 48-year Nevadan and editor of NevadaLabor.com. E-mail <firstname.lastname@example.org> Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988.