Trump spinstress Kellyanne Conway’s alternative facts virus has gone viral. I just got a solicitation offering (oxymoron alert!) an “Extensive Range of Authentic Fake Documents.”
“If you have lost or damaged your precious degrees or vital documents and lost every hope in life, we at Superior Fake Degrees can do something for you. We think that you’ll find something in our catalog of services that can cater to your lost hope. Our array of fake diplomas, college degrees and passports are created by our expert team of printers and designers holding wide experience to ensure that these certificates are created to the highest level of quality.”
Looks can kill. An authentic fake appeared an attractive alternative to Hillary the Librarian.
Corporate moonhowlers know that gruesome messages are best delivered by cute blonde babes. Copying Big Tobacco, conservatives hired Kellyanne, Laura Ingraham and Ann Coulter. Last Sunday morning, the Koch-infested American Enterprise Institute fielded Danielle Pletka, a frosted blonde with an English accent. (Americans always think Brit-talkers are intelligent. She’s Aussie but sassy.)
Cosmetics decided the 2014 Reno mayoral race. Freshman Councilmember Hillary Schieve topped a 16-candidate primary over runnerup Ray Pezonella. Had third-place Idora Silver bought a TV schedule, things might have been quite different.
Reno voters chose between a bubbly blonde businessperson and term-limited Mayor Bob Cashell’s anointed successor. After Nuke-the-Mapes Jeff Griffin and Corporate Welfare Cashell, voters rejected a third straight grumpy old man.
Ms. Silver would have been formidable and may be again because she touches all bases. Blonde and telegenic but capable of providing adult supervision, she’s acceptable to the downtown establishment. Because of her longtime business connections, they won’t hold her Democratic registration against her.
Mademoiselle Mayor got 20 lashes with a wet noodle in last Sundays’ Reno Gazette-Journal which devoted well over a full page to a shell game funneling tax money to the Economic Development Authority of Western Nevada to plant puff PR in national publications. Reno City Hall and the Regional Transportation Commission each coughed up $10,000 of a $110,000 budget to retain the media firm which also runs Mlle. Mayor’s campaigns.
To their credit, Sparks and Washoe County refused.
“It’s not one entity’s responsibility to do PR for the entire region,” stated blonde flaktitioner Abbi Whitaker.
Yes, it is, that of the Reno-Sparks Convention and Visitors Authority which also fessed up $10k. RSCVA’s room tax subsidy, originally intended for local fairs and recreation since 1955, has long been skimmed to subsidize the promotional budgets of the gambling-industrial complex.
The Regional Transportation Commission has been equally profligate, wasting taxes on foreign contractors and corporate welfare while grinding its workers and risking another regionwide transit strike. (See NevadaLabor.com/)
Veteran RGJ reporter Anjeannette Damon is the best they have but her story was narrowly focused. Six figures of corporate welfare will generate a few nasty letters to the editor, then fizzle. For the megabucks big picture, see CabellyUp.com, a rogues gallery of corporate welfare queens including Cabela’s, Scheels, Tesla and many more authentic fakes.
Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno. (Pardon my Spanglish.)
Andrew Barbano is a 48-year Nevadan and editor of NevadaLabor.com. E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org> Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988.