What’s next, naked shopping?

Sherman R. Frederick/Battle Born Media, Sparks, Nevada

Our governor and his public health advisors like to say they make all pandemic decisions based on science.

That’s a fib, of course.

What the scientific community doesn’t know about COVID-19 far exceeds what it does know, which is exhibited by the wildly varying advice we’ve been given on how to protect yourself from the virus — don’t wear masks, do wear masks, go to outdoor parks, don’t go to the outdoor parks, etc.

Consider reusable grocery bags.

There’s no science to the idea that these bags pose any kind of unreasonable risk. But the single-use plastic lobby (yes, they have a lobby) is pressuring states and the federal government to rescind bans on their product under the theory that they are safer when it comes to coronavirus than reusable bags. Most grocery stores in Nevada have banned or limited reusable bags under the pretense that they are some kind of special carrier of coronavirus.

C’mon, man. Are we seriously supposed to fear the reusable grocery bag?

These fabric bags can’t pose any more of a risk in a grocery store than allowing people to, say, shop with their clothes on or squeeze the cantaloupe with their bare hands in the fresh fruit aisle.

Look, I hope I’m not giving the powers that be another “scientific” idea, because naked shopping would give a whole new meaning to the phrase “see you at the grocery store.”

REOPEN RURAL NEVADA

I’ve said this before and it bears repeating. One size does not fit all when it comes to reopening Nevada. What’s good for downtown Ely is vastly different than what’s appropriate for the Las Vegas Strip.

Gov. Steve Sisolak has not distinguished himself in the COVID-19 crisis. He’s been slow on the uptake, miserable at communication with citizens, and anything but decisive on the reopening plans. Small businesses can’t take much more of this. Reopen rural Nevada now, governor.

ZERO GAMING REVENUE

There’s going to be hell to pay on the state budget. We’ve already gone a month without casino money and we’re likely to go two more. I don’t see how state government can continue at current staffing and spending levels. Stand by for some interesting times in Carson City. The current leadership makeup in the Legislature, to put it kindly, is not built for budget cutting.

ONE MORE THING …

— First we’re told a shot of alcohol might protect us from the virus. Then research indicated the opposite. Now we’re told sunlight might kill the virus, but parks are closed. So, if you come across Gov. Steven Sisolak, intoxicated and standing naked in Red Rock State Park, leave him alone. He’s conducting important medical research.

— The new sashimi restaurant near the courthouse caters to the lunchtime lawyer crowd. It’s called “Sosueme.”

— Is there a river in Crimea?

I’ll let myself out. Be well, avoid soreheads, and be sure to obey all COVID-19 regulations, no matter how silly they may sound, as illustrated below.

Sherman Frederick is the founder of Battle Born Media, publisher of intensely local community newspapers in Nevada. He may be reached at shermfrederick@gmail.com.)