Commentary
An eye for an eye,
A tooth for a tooth
Vote for me
and I’ll set you free.
Rap on, brother, rap on
— The Temptations 1970
Donald Trump’s campaign is going hip-hop.
The legendary Barbwire investigative team, as always, has spared every expense bringing you this exclusive.
The Trump advisors view the Orange Crusher’s increasing poll numbers among black and Latino voters as the potential stake (or McDonald’s burger) thru the heart of President Biden’s campaign.
For months, Czar Donaldov’s brain trust has mulled strategies to make an overt racist and bigot palatable to minority voters, according to Barbwire interviews with key insiders.
They took clues from 2020. The New York Times interviewed a young Latino man in west Texas where Trump showed surprising strength.
The man said he voted for Trump because he looked strong “and my friends and me, we couldn’t wait to see what crazy shit he was going to say next.”
That echoed NBC reporter Katy Tur’s 2022 comment to Steven Colbert as to why Trump won: “He entertained them and he looked strong.”
As I’ve written many times, Americans insist on daddy in three key positions: governor, not senator; network news anchor (check Norah O’Donnell’s ratings) and president. We still desire grandfatherly CBS
News legend Walter Cronkite tucking us in every night making us feel everything will be better in the morning.
Hilary Clinton learned that lesson the hard way, as did now-Congressperson Dina Titus, D-Las Vegas, when she ran for Nevada governor in 2006. Nikki Haley and Kamala Harris, take note.
So what will be Trump’s magic bullet with minorities that will wash away all sins, including putting Latino refugees in concentration camps?
He will start doing hip hop music and videos under the name of T-Rump.
Here is an exclusive transcript of the first recording session:
UNIDENTIFIED PRODUCER: OK, Mr. President. Let’s try a run-thru.
TRUMP: This is really good stuff. It will get the spics and ni…, oh, I forgot, I shouldn’t say that anymore. OK, I’m ready now.
PRO: Cue the beats and…action —
TRUMP: I’m a lawnmower baby,
gonna mow ‘em all down
Only I can fix it
for the black and the brown.
Charizzma galore, money and more
Vote big cha-rizz,
Plop plop, fizz fizz
The cure for what ails you
Plop plop, fizz fizz
Cover your rump
Vote Big T-Rump
Got the rizz and the class
Up to the task
Vote Big T-Rump
Or your ass is grass
PRO: OK, cut.
TRUMP: I think that was great. Who knew I was such a natural performer?
Now let’s try another take, but get a camera on me so I can watch myself.
PRO: Will do. As soon as we lay down the audio, we’ll bring in the dancers.
TRUMP: Do all of them have to be black? Make sure they’ve all got big hooters. I want to review them before recording.
IT CAN’T HAPPEN HERE, RIGHT? It already has and you know it.
FOX News impresario Rupert Murdoch proved correct when he blurted decades ago that “Americans are retarded.”
Comedian Bill Maher once wryly noted that “Americans don’t do nuance.”
If you can’t fit it on bumper stickers (aka memes) it won’t work.
As H.L. Mencken is oft paraphrased, nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
Yes, Mr. Barnum, there is a Santa Claus.
Impartial — as if anyone can be impartial about mass death — expert analyses have found that Trump’s presidential inaction and denialism caused between 200,000 and half a million needless COVID deaths.
No more serious than a cold? Drink bleach? This is the guy who bragged of himself as a world class epidemiologist — in front of real experts who just bit their learned PhD lips.
And the charlatan who let COVID run wild is now the frontrunner less than a year out of the 2024 general election.
As his supporters tell pollsters, “he got things done.” Indeed.
President Biden last week told reporters they are reading “the wrong polls.”
That was not flip. I remember what Sen. Harry Reid’s northern boss Mary Conelly of Sparks told depressed Democrats in 2010. All publicly released polls showed Reid losing to madcap church lady Sharron Angle.
Mary’s comments were almost verbatim Biden. Reid’s internal polls showed him trending well.
Turned out Reid had the money to pay for “deep polling,” where interviewers could spend an hour or more speaking with likely voters.
Deep polls cost a million a pop in 2010 dollars. They showed Reid moving toward a relatively easy victory. He won by about 40,000 votes.
The media were reading the wrong polls.
Trump’s opening with minorities is no fluke. All the benefits of Biden programs have not reached many minority communities. Republican Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp has been deftly taking credit for all the new federal money showering his state.
Savannah Mayor Van Johnson told the Times that Biden’s accomplishments have yet to resonate among southeast Georgians.
PLAGUE ALERT. In addition to orange political poxes, COVID, RSV and influenza are running wild and killing Americans, especially the un-vaxxed and maskless. Alas and alack, many will die due to attending holiday dinners with family and friends.
Americans just don’t do nuance.
ROCK JOCK JOKE: Why are pop diva Taylor Swift and NFL player Travis Kelce a perfect match? Both are world class tight ends.
ON DECEMBER 27, 2005 Betty Joyce Luffman Donlevy Barbano died in Reno at 64. Remember her laughter.
Vaxx up, stay safe, pray for Ukraine and almost 100 other currently war-torn lands.
Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno.
Andrew Quarantino Barbáno is a 54-year Nevadan and editor of NevadaLabor.com/ Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988. E-mail barbano@frontpage.reno.nv.us Opening lyrics are from “Ball of Confusion — That’s what the world is today” by Barrett Strong and Norman Whitfield, 1970.
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