The Taylor Swift worldwide football extravaganza was sensational and I am now ready to venture unimpeachable predictions: A century from now, there will be a burgeoning major religion worshiping the pop diva as divinely inspired.
And a much smaller cult relegated to the 22nd Century dark web in adoration of Commissar Donaldov of RasPutingrad.
Starting a religion is a pretty easy thing to do for a good salesperson.
You have to be convincing and persuade people that they need what you are selling.
St. Paul and the original apostles had a rough row to hoe for a few centuries. They were dispatched throughout the ancient world from Europe to Africa and India.
Marketing experts know that in order to get people to switch to your product, you have to offer a better mousetrap.
I can imagine St. Paul working Asia Minor, musing how to convince the natives to switch teams: “Our guy walked on water. Interested?…
“…No?”
“Our local guys walk on water all the time. Just climb up Mt. Ararat and glide around on the ice.” Ouch.
“Hmmm…the old guys convinced the locals back home that Jonah got barfed up by a bulimic whale, but these guys have all heard that story.
And Moses turned his walking stick into a snake. That’s an oldie.
“OK, guys, let me tell you the story of how our guy rose from the dead.”
Baddaboom, baddabing.
Far fetched? Maybe to anyone who hasn’t had to make a sale to earn a living.
Wiser minds than mine have noted that broadly speaking, every religion started out as a cult. Some caught on, some did not. Some self-destructed.
Ever heard of the Shakers? They were once popular in this country. True believers had to swear off all sex so the only potential for expansion lay with celibate converts. Tough sell.
They did treat men and women equally in religious leadership, They were pacifists who believed in both gender and racial equality, practices which some sexier religions have yet to adopt. A few remaining Shakers reside in Maine.
Two Hollywood films present very convincing modern perspectives of religious reality. “Oh, God!” starring George Burns and John Denver is number one on my list of all time favorites. (Apologies to my ancestors.
Yes, it’s even better than Norman Jewison’s awesome Italian-American snapshot “Moonstruck.”)
I like “Oh, God!” because it teaches great moral lessons with wise humor. You should expect nothing less from director Carl Reiner and legendary writer Larry Gelbart (“MAS*H”).
During a lifetime of discussing religion with true believers and skeptics alike, I have come to the realization that the Bible could be the greatest work of science fiction ever written, easily adaptable for television.
Ever see director John Carpenter’s “Starman” with an Oscar-nominated turn by Jeff Bridges? The writing credits should have included Matthew, Mark, Luke and John because the film is a science fiction remake of the four evangelists. Watch it and tell me I’m wrong.
Sci-fi writer L. Ron Hubbard knew how to sell. Scientology today is recognized as a tax-deductible non-profit (if not non-prophet) religion.
Give it another 50 years and it will spawn politicians rather than under-educated movie stars.
Sir Ian McKellan once noted that the Bible is a great study in metaphor, moral lessons in story form.
“And without parables, he did not speak to them, that the prophecy might be fulfilled.” Hmmm…which great religious teacher always used stories to teach morality?
Beware of taking tall tales too literally.
I’m an Italian and I think my ancestors had the right idea with the Pantheon, that 2,000 year-old palace of tolerance still doing business in Rome. The old empire let everyone practice any and every moral creed.
Just render the politics to Caesar and the boys.
That’s where Christians got into trouble with “our God is better than your God” marketing.
This screed represents my flailing disappointment with all the worldwide religion-based violence which daily brings tears and sorrow. So unfortunate. So godless. So very, very tragically human.
From Swifties to Shakers, I support them all as long as they don’t try to use their concept of the gods as a weapon against others. “Imagine,” suggested John Lennon.
The great Rachel Carson wrote “If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against the disenchantment and boredom of later years, the sterile preoccupation with things that are artificial, the alienation from the sources of our strength.”
Joni Mitchell turned those sentiments into her greatest work:
“Yesterday, a child came out to wonder, caught a dragonfly inside a jar.
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder and tearful at the falling of a star.”
Stay wonder full.
WE DON’T NEED NO EDUCATION. News broke earlier this week about the sudden closure of the Career College of Northern Nevada. The bankrupt business school was established in the 1960s and has gone thru multiple ownership and name changes.
Some students were just days from graduation. I shudder to think how many will have gone into substantial long term debt with little to show for it.
I feel heartbroken for those who showed up to find only insult added to their injury: Signs posted on locked doors which gave notice of closure with “indefinitely” mis-spelled. In three places. In just a single word. Bankrupt, indeed.
CONTEST UPDATE: I have it on impeachable authority that T-Rump, the soul man who raps America, is taking suggestions to name his hip hop backup band. Ideas have been coming in. Here’s a clue for the guy who hasn’t had one in decades: Think Archie and Veronica. Stay tuned.
Vaxx up, stay safe, pray for Ukraine and almost 100 other currently war-torn lands.
Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno.
Andrew Quarantino Barbáno is a 55-year Nevadan and editor of NevadaLabor.com/ Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988. E-mail barbano@frontpage.reno.nv.us
Leave a Reply