The best, most justifiable divorce is hell. It goes downhill from there in a big hurry. Which is why I admire people who can negotiate that hell with honor, justice and equity. To do that, of course, requires one thing above all else: We cannot allow our sadness to arc into vengeance. A divorce is a funeral. Not a war. The work of divorce is grief. Not poisoning wells. Not … [Read more...]
It’s Not All About Us
There’s one sure test to know whether I love someone: I revel in their happiness. I’m invested in their happiness. Working for, inspiring, sacrificing for their happiness fills me with happiness. Perhaps the most obvious place to observe this is with my children. There is simply no better day for me than when my children are thriving and happy. Conversely, it’s unlikely … [Read more...]
Childbirth: Expecting the Unexpected
Show me a woman who is pregnant, and I will show you a woman who lives expectantly. Everything about her will soon be forever changed. Her mate, too. And the lives of any previous children born to the union. Babies change everything. But of course they do. And parents (who pay attention) expect everything to change. Chief amongst these expectations is the expectation that … [Read more...]
Admire, Behold and See Your Children
This father just got his butt metaphorically kicked from here to Shanghai by his adult daughter. She just flat crawled him. A strafing run. This father is perplexed. Sincerely incredulous. Dazed and confused. Hurt, too, but that seems unimportant to him for the moment, compared to his inability to really grasp what just happened and why. The daughter’s outburst is all … [Read more...]