When I observe law enforcement and military service in the United States, the sheer swath, depth and breadth of options is impressive. It’s a continuum that begins with mere presence and ends with a thermonuclear strike. Presence. Visibility. Clear communications with the civilians. An understanding of the law that is at once clear, impartial and fair. Then questioning. … [Read more...]
What We Don’t Say at the End
Four years of my professional life were spent working in hospice. Director of Bereavement and Pastoral Care. Simply put, four of the best years of my life. Creative, energizing, and a daily learning curve. A downer? Absolutely not! Quite the opposite. More hopeful, inspirational, meaningful. I listened to the mortals in the bed. Talked to them. Was always struck by how … [Read more...]
It Was the Best I Could Do
Here comes The Speech. I can see it on his face. I can feel the words gathering in the air between us. One part plea, one part protest, one part lamentation. I’ve got The Speech memorized. I hear it in my office with some regularity. And not just in my office: I also hear it out and about from friends and colleagues. It’s as if, at birth, we each receive The Speech on a … [Read more...]
Remember the Fable of ‘The Fox and The Lion’
The woman is a wife of 14 years. She feels guilty, even as she tells me she has yet to do anything wrong. She feels guilty because she is drawn to the attention and desire of a man who is not her husband. The man notices her. Doesn’t merely greet her each day at work, but beholds her. As if he has been waiting for her to arrive. As if anticipating the moment they will … [Read more...]
The Sands of Love
On the shelf in my office sits – stands, really – a 5” action figure of Carl Gustav Jung. He is wearing a gray suit and black tie. His glasses are pushed up on his forehead. Carl is smiling. I acquired Carl The Action Figure on Christmas Day, a few years ago. Just reached into my stocking, and pulled him out. A nod from my younger sister, the licensed psychologist, told me … [Read more...]
Oh, That Alien Feeling Called Love
First love is a life-changing experience. It happens to most people in adolescence. I waited a bit longer, 23 years old when I, by way of introduction, hit a sunbathing Gamma Phi Delta with a Frisbee. Actually, my friend threw the fateful disc, he and I on a wide expanse of grass behind the chapel at Southern Methodist University, living large and youthful in the spring … [Read more...]
When is a Complaint Legitimate?
I can’t get sloppy or casual with this guy. His brain is smart, thorough and relentless. He’s a bit intense, but so am I, so maybe we’re a good fit. He wants nothing more (and nothing less) than to be a good human being. And, some day, he’d like to be a good mate and life partner in a terrific relationship. He challenges me: “You say, ‘Stop confronting each other and start … [Read more...]
The Good/Bad Side of Religious Guilt
Cousin 1 says he believes the guilt his Catholic family taught him was important for his moral development. Cousin 2 disagrees. She says that same family’s teachings about guilt did nothing to enhance her inner voice for right and wrong; rather, she sees these teachings as a mechanism of control and injustice. Interesting discussion. But, when I get caught eavesdropping, … [Read more...]