He’s a little dazed and giddy. Words free flow as energy makes his body restless in the chair. He chats in circles, sometimes connecting thoughts and other times leaving half-sentences hanging in mid-air. I hold the space for him to find his way. Talking to him is like trying to tune in a radio station on one of those old ‘tube’ radios as it warms up. Finally, he zeroes in … [Read more...]
Experiences Top Possessions
I think Albert Einstein was right: time doesn’t really exist. It’s an agreed-upon group illusion, designed to sell watches and clocks. And to tell me when to pay my quarterly taxes. And to help make sure I’m sitting in my office at the same time patients expect me to be sitting there. And to countdown the moments. Maybe to provide rhythm and context to this thing called life. … [Read more...]
Still Transfixed by the Crèche Scene
I love Christmas. I inherited this from my mother, I suspect, who is a first ballot lock for the Christmas Fanatic Hall of Fame. My mother is a Christmas juggernaut. You can follow. You can assist. But otherwise, get out of the way. Or you’ll be run over by joy. It begins on “Christmas Saturday.” Christmas Saturday happens one or two Saturdays before Thanksgiving Day. … [Read more...]
Childbirth: Expecting the Unexpected
Show me a woman who is pregnant, and I will show you a woman who lives expectantly. Everything about her will soon be forever changed. Her mate, too. And the lives of any previous children born to the union. Babies change everything. But of course they do. And parents (who pay attention) expect everything to change. Chief amongst these expectations is the expectation that … [Read more...]
How do Human Beings come to Feel Worthwhile?
Did people in The Middle Ages fret about their self-esteem? Did they sit in taverns and wonder aloud to their friends why they didn’t love themselves more? Did they work their farms while daydreaming about the hope of someday having more self-esteem? See, I rather doubt it. I think perseverating about self-esteem is the calling card of this time, this place and this … [Read more...]
Advice on Grieving During the Holidays
I have a day planner. I schedule things. I have to, because, as my father would so eloquently state it, “Steven, you couldn’t find your [back side] if you used both hands.” So, thus equipped and forewarned with such comprehensive, mentoring insight, I learned to write things down. Appointments, travel plans, meetings, doctor’s appointments, haircuts, car repair – the rhythms … [Read more...]
When Being ‘Mean’ Helps
When my middle son, then 17, joined the army, he was shipped to boot camp in South Carolina. A few weeks later I received his first letter, and in that letter was an anecdote for the ages. Aaron told the story of raising his hand to ask a question. The drill sergeant growled back, “The next time you have a question, private, why don’t you open your mouth and put a … [Read more...]
Dreams I’m Ready to Chase
1993. Two days shy of his second birthday, my firstborn, Jonathan, is exploring the grassy area behind the apartment building. His legs, alive with energy and joy, make the swish-squish sound that is the signature of the modern disposable diaper. I watch him from a distance, sitting on a concrete staircase, guitar in my lap, dreaming, resting. His squeal lifts my head. … [Read more...]