The summer is too hot, the campaign rhetoric too heated, the atmosphere too thick – like an increasing number of heads.
In the interest of cooling things off, how about a brief excursion into the lighter side of harsh reality?
ICY PR. On the July 27 Channel 8 early news, veteran reporter Ed Pearce did a story on the extreme heat. He interviewed an NVEnergy PR person who bragged about the company’s improved safeguards against hot weather outages.
Viewers shouldn’t worry about a thing, he smiled.
Too bad thousands of sweaty ratepayers didn’t see him because of a two-hour blackout, including my house. (I caught the 11:00 p.m. re-run)
The first two letters of propaganda are PR.
MISCOMMUNICATION DEPT. Power is perception in politics. Donkeykongs take umbrage at Herr Trumpeter’s slogan “Make America Great Again.”
The Donald’s detractors harrumph that it demeans the country.
Beleaguered supporters for whom the Great Recession has never ended hear “make America great again – for me.”
Perception produces power.
HOW TO IMPAIR YOUR MEDICAL CARE. Don’t tell bad jokes to harried staffers, especially on a Monday. Trust me.
My doctor recently ordered some tests and had his crew follow through.
“What do you do for labs?” asked Nurse Ratchet.
“I usually take them to a veterinarian,” said I.
“You’re cute,” said she.
“And if they smell bad, I hose them off at a car wash.”
I was also ordered to schedule an ultrasound.
While making the appointment, I suggested that we could save time and costs if they would simply accept a sworn affidavit certifying that I am not pregnant.
Not even close to a giggle.
I now know what expectant mothers undergo. Afterward, I asked if I could get photos for my website. I’m still waiting.
Avoid telling bad jokes to busy nurses on Mondays.
DASTARDLY DARK HUMOR DEPT. In case you missed it, a guy chased by police started driving toward the assembled multitudes at the recent downtown Reno chicken wing thing. He paid for it with his life.
“The cops were just trying to wing him,” said one wag.
“He made his own BBQ sauce,” opined another.
FIRE YOUR AD AGENCY DEPT. A California Honda dealer has a spot on San Francisco Giants games that advertises prices so low that “they are practically mythical.” Meaning almost non-existent?
Apparently, modern under-educated copywriters don’t know the difference between mythical and mythological, the latter describing the stuff of legend. I have it on good authority that you can even look up definitions online and never risk opening a book.
Reminds me of one of the greatest ad screwups in local history.
Car dealers love to advertise “high volume means low prices.”
One day, some ink-stained wretch at the Reno Gazette-Journal type-set that Hallman Chevrolet was famous for “low volume and high prices.”
So trumpeted a full-page ad. To save their harried sales rep from execution, dealership staff confiscated every copy of the paper before the boss arrived that morning.
Maybe RGJ employees found new careers. In medical scheduling, perhaps?
Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno.
Andrew Barbano is a 47-year Nevadan and editor of NevadaLabor.com. E-mail <email@example.com> Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988.