CHARLEY SHEEN FOR PRESIDENT. Now that we’ve got a real-life libertine in the White House, it’s time for CBS to bring back “Two-and-a-Half Men.” (Hey, if “Dallas” and “Roseanne” can revive killed-off characters, anything goes.)
Donald Trump is nothing if not a mush of father fixations trying to prove worthiness to an abusive dad. Charley Sheen’s actual dad, Martin, played a righteous president in “The West Wing,” so why not have Martin’s son play a promiscuous president? The symmetry is perfect and the babes will look great.
In the sequel, Charlie could play a wealthy Budweiser distributor who became famous on TV for surrounding himself with comely Bud girls while riding a beer wagon pulled by huge Clydesdale horses and shooting his AK-47 into the air.
Clompers and prancers, hooves and hooters in the Charley Harper White House – What’s not to like? Harvey Weinstein is looking for work. Call him. Speaking of phone numbers…
WARMONGER/PIECEMONGER – The vaunted Tribune/Barbwire investigative team has spared every expense, as usual, to determine why John Bolton hustled himself as national security advisor to Czar Donaldov. The awful truth: He of the albino mustachio figured that the only way he could get Stormy Daniels’ phone number would be to make her a threat to national security.
BACK TO DIS-REALITY. During the neo-Red Scare days of Ronald Reagan’s administration, Hollywood spewed a lotta trash to cash public fears. “Red Dawn” and “Amerika” were both set in the not-too-distant future with the Soviet Union running a defeated, dystopian United States. Campfire coffeepots and no computers.
As George Orwell never really revealed how the interactive telescreen got everywhere to spy on everyone in “1984,” Hollywood did not explain how the U.S. got whupped.
We appear close to answering that question. Could you live a year or seven without electricity? Or running water? Or heat or air conditioning? (Like Yemen, Syria and Iraq.)
Russian hackers apparently can disable the entire U.S. power grid at will. Tsar Putin already owns much of the U.S. government. How much of a stretch is it to see Czar Donaldov running up the white flag?
RENOWN REDUX: My column last week about Renown hospital followup care has been validated. I consulted with a physician and Renown’s stonewalling of its own internal referral system not only violated longstanding protocols but appears to be borderline malpractice in denying prompt, self-admittedly necessary treatment. (Nevada doctors made themselves lawsuit-proof years ago.) The mandate for a generalist to refer you to a specialist has little or nothing to do with health care. It was instituted to cut costs and reduce service back when corporate medicine began to expand more than four decades ago. Trying to get the big fat dinosaur to change is next to impossible. So little people who can’t master the vagaries of a Kafkaesque system can just go die.
PREDESTINED DEPRESSION. Congratulations to the entire University of Nevada-Reno basketball apparat for fine seasons. Both teams overachieved but, alas, the outcome of the men’s quest was pre-ordained. Nevada vs. St. Ignatius Loyola and his high-jumping Jesuits? No contest. The Holy of Holies rarely loses to the Den of Iniquity, especially on national TV.
CELEBRATE CESAR CHAVEZ SATURDAY. César Chávez Celebration XVI
(XVI Celebración del día de César Chávez) happens at Circus Circus-Reno this Saturday, the great labor leader’s 91st birthday.
It’s a fact, not a hype, that this year’s will be bigger and better than ever, starting with real Mexican food served by union members in a union hotel.
Ballet Folklorico de Nevada comes back by popular demand and noted Reno artist Erik Holland returns to unveil a new César Chávez painting.
We will feature a world premiere preview of a new locally produced Broadway-style musical – César Chávez Resistencia! (Resistance!).
César Chávez NevadaLabor.com Hall of Famer Maria Zamora will induct Tony Mayorga (Laborers’ Local 169) into that exclusive club. The only previous posthumous HOF honoree was Fred Ross, Sr., the legendary “organizer’s organizer” who taught César Chávez how to rally workers to the cause. Maria was on the front lines with Chávez in the 1960s and has never stopped laboring for the rights of workers.
The Reno-Sparks NAACP will register voters and the Northern Nevada Literacy Council will distribute FREE Spanish-language books courtesy of our friends at Grassroots Books.
Doors open at 5:30, dinner at 7;00 p.m. in the Circus Circus Mandalay Ballroom. Make your reservations at CesarChavezNevada.com, call (775) 786-1455 or e-mail the address below.
¡Sí se puede!
Be well. Raise hell. / Esté bien. Haga infierno.
Andrew Barbano is a 49-year Nevadan and editor of NevadaLabor.com. Barbwire by Barbano has originated in the Tribune since 1988. E-mail <email@example.com>