The ideal of great love and meaningful, life-long union with a chosen mate does not die easily in the human heart. It’s striking, really, how often in my counseling practice a man or woman comes with this presenting issue: I want to be in love. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to grow old alone. I want to share my life with someone. Even people whose hearts have been … [Read more...]

Quick! Don’t think, just answer. The song Puff, the Magic Dragon: a happy song or sad song? I’ve been asking that question for years. With rare exception, folks hum a few bars, and say “Happy song.” Puff, the Magic Dragon is, from start to finish, a tragedy. It is the story of a culture that requires little boys to sacrifice their imagination as the necessary price for … [Read more...]

Your mother is not your father. Your father is not your mother. That’s obvious, right? Not for a child. Strictly speaking, in a child’s worldview, there is no such thing as “my mom and my dad.” For a child, it’s my mom’ndad. It’s one entity. It’s a symbiotic set. Even if dad takes the kids camping for the weekend, for the kids, mom is there by implication. Even if dad is … [Read more...]

She asks about loyalty in marriage. Not sexual fidelity – that’s the easy part of loyalty. No; she means loyalty in the broader sense. What does it mean to be loyal to her husband, especially when she’s considering exiting this marriage? See, he’s disappeared. Oh, he’s still in the house. Still going to work. Still raising children with her. But he’s disappeared from the … [Read more...]

Bullets from nowhere. And everywhere. The lottery of Murder. Terror. Heroism. Shock, anger, grief. Waves of mind-numbing, delusional conspiracy theories. The Right and The Left vying for who can tune a perfect timbre of righteous indignation in blaming the other. Candles. Vigils. Moments of silence. Helplessness. Rinse. Repeat. I went to bed on Sunday, October 1st at 9 … [Read more...]

Life imitates art. This time on the sidelines of the National Football League. Week 3. September 24th. I couldn’t stop laughing. At us. At America. I mean, you have to laugh or cry. Or move to Belize. Or drink more. Or up your medication. The ‘art’ I saw imitated was a scene from the 1979 movie Life of Brian, the savage satire of western religion conceived and written by the … [Read more...]

The sign promises “Unlimited income.” If I would like to have unlimited income, I should call the number on the sign. I presume, then, that someone would answer the phone and arrange for me to have unlimited income. Hmm. But, what is unlimited income? If there was such a thing as unlimited income, you would have thought that Donald Trump would have figured it out by now. … [Read more...]

Here’s the truth: Sooner or later we find ourselves in relationships with Mean People. Let me define my terms: Mean People are people who need us to feel lousy about ourselves. I’m not kidding. They need us to feel bad about ourselves the way vampires need to drink our blood. It’s the way they shore up their identity. Rene Descartes said, “I think, therefore I am.” Mean … [Read more...]