So, if I said to you, “I’ve opened a bank account in your name. The account contains a balance of five million dollars. To access the money, you’ll need the pin number, which only I know. And I’m not going to tell you.” It seems logical to me, then, your next question might appropriately be, “So, what’s the difference between that and not having the money at all?” And I … [Read more...]
Are You My Mother? No, and Hell No
In 1960, Random House published “Are You My Mother” by P.D. Eastman. I was 3, at the time, and it is the first book I ever remember reading. It was a story about a bird hatching while his mother was away looking for food. So the youngster heads out to find his mother. In order, he asks a kitten, a hen, a dog and a cow, “Are you my mother.” Each says “no.” The hatchling … [Read more...]
Two Kinds of Shame
The adults who raised and reared me used the word “shame” with some frequency. More specifically, the female adults. As in “Shame on you!” Or the rhetorical reproof “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself!” Where I come from, women – grandmothers, mothers, aunties and school teachers – used “shame” this way more often than men. I don’t possess any lucid cultural analysis which … [Read more...]
Redemption Is Everyman’s Story
In the Jim Carrey movie “Liar, Liar” is a man that, for 24 hours, can’t lie. It’s just so human and funny. Because, when you get down to it, humans are pretty funny. Absurdly funny. But I also love the movie because it grabs my passion for redemption stories. Redemption is singularly my favorite of the universal human stories. Now, the “universal” part is not that all human … [Read more...]
Sorry, Anonymous Doesn’t Cut It
Before we begin, be reminded: Human Matters is not a political column. It’s a column about what matters – certainly what matters to me, at least – regarding what it means to be human. Now, to the matter at hand … First principles, that is, prima facie duties (SEE Thomas Aquinas) are thorny, troublesome things. If you are desirous to possess them, these duties will demand … [Read more...]
Of Real Marriage and Divorce
Last week, I talked about the paradox of “already is but not yet.” I noted that marriage and divorce were strange bedfellows, having something in common regarding this paradox. Marriage is not as simple as “I do” and “I will.” Marriage claims a reality already here; but then the partners spend the rest of the lives realizing the reality not yet here: An Entire … [Read more...]
Parents, Children and Our Flaws
When Sigmund Freud presented his life’s work to western civilization, everything changed. A cultural savant, Freud’s psychoanalytic theories literally rewired our world view of individuals, relationships, and especially child-rearing. It’s always been true that parents and surrounding family dynamics fundamentally shape the psyches of growing children, leaving etched, more … [Read more...]
Exclusive Sex Is the Best Sex
When two people decide to make a sexually exclusive commitment with an intention to permanence, it’s a big deal. A huge deal, if for no other reason than it runs contrary to evolution and biology. I’m saying that none of the other great apes (gorillas, chimps, orangutans) are monogamous. And there’s nothing to suggest otherwise about the great ape homo sapien. Nope; in terms of … [Read more...]